Random Things I've Made

I like to think of myself as "artistic" in an "I can barely draw a stick figure" kind of way. I always want to make things to decorate my home, but I can't draw, paint, sculpt, or, um.. whittle. So here are two things I made (three and four years ago, respectively) to hang on my walls that didn't require any obvious artistic talent.

Awesome Decorative Earring Storage
A few years ago, my friend Teri and I were at an antique store, and I saw this weird, kind of fantastic hippy-ish picture frame with no glass or back. I wanted to buy it, but I had no idea what I'd do with it, so I resisted the urge to spend $8 on something that would probably just end up sitting on a shelf. A week or so later, Teri saw an idea for making earring storage from a picture frame and chicken wire, so I hurried back to the store and bought the frame. Teri already had a cool frame that she wanted to use, so we each made one.

We bought some chicken wire (actually, Teri bought it and I just stole some. From her, not from the store. ), cut it into the right shape using wire cutters, and then stapled it the the backs of the frames using a staple gun. Unless you're really coordinated (which I am not), the stapling will probably require two people: one to hold the chicken wire in place and one to staple.

Our staples didn't look great at all - they were crooked and only partially pushed into the frame, but since they're on the back, it doesn't matter.

Then I stapled a ribbon to the top of the frame to hang it, and voila! Decorative earring storage!

Framed Button "Art"
I really like buttons. Don't ask why. I just do.

When we moved to Ohio four years ago, we rented a bigger house than the one we'd been renting in Pennsylvania, so we had some empty wall space. We had moved away from family and friends and didn't yet know anyone, Dan was in residency, I hadn't found a job, and Lucas was still just a twinkle in his daddy's eye (ew. That phrase just struck me as vaguely creepy. Disregard.) In other words, I had a lot of time on my hands. For making things. Out of buttons.

Out of my 347,492 buttons (give or take a few hundred thousand), I picked out some in shades of green and blue. Then I sewed them onto a piece of blue felt using a needle and some white thread that I think I scrounged out of an "emergency" sewing kit because I don't sew. I didn't plan out the pattern, I just randomly added buttons until I liked the way it looked. I already had a frame that I wasn't using because I had accidentally broken the glass at some point (I'm clumsy), so I pulled the felt tight around the frame backing and then pushed it into the frame so that it held it in place.

Ta da! "Art."

Father's Day Finger Painting

This is Dan's second Father's Day as a daddy. (Third if you count the fact that I was six weeks pregnant for Father's Day 2011.) I thought that it would be really nice if Lucas could make him something, which is kind of difficult when you consider that Lucas is 16 months old and the only thing he knows how to make is messes. But I didn't let that deter me. Along with everyone else on Pinterest, I had seen the idea of "writing" your child's name with painter's or masking tape on a piece of paper, allowing them to finger paint over top of it, and then peeling off the tape to reveal a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. I figured that would be something a 16 month old could do, and it would have the added bonus of keeping him occupied for a little while. I had a pack of three canvases that I bought at least four years ago with the intentions of making some sort of awesome craft project that never actually got made (shocking,) so I took one of those and put the words "World's Best Daddy" on it with painter's tape. (Pro Tip - if you're going to do this, try to find a phrase that doesn't use a capital "B" in it. That one letter alone took me 10 minutes.)

Using a finger paint recipe that I found here, I mixed up some paint. (If you're too lazy to click the link, the recipe is 3 Tablespoons sugar, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup corn starch, 2 cups water. Mix them together in a pan, then heat and stir on the stove until it thickens. Let it cool, then spoon it into containers and add food coloring. Add more food coloring than you think you need, because it will look lighter than you expected when painted onto paper/canvas.) For the record, this paint came off of our skin really easily, and it also washed out of my clothes with no stains left behind, even though I didn't put the clothes in the wash until the next day. But don't wear your favorite outfit or anything. I can't guarantee that you'll have the same experience. It probably depends on the food coloring you use. Please don't sue me.

While I was making the paint, Lucas occupied himself by doing this:

I took the paint, canvas, Lucas, and a whole roll of paper towels; stuck them all in a giant box on my back deck; then climbed in myself. (It was a really big box.) At this point, I expected it to be like every picture I've ever seen of a child finger painting, ever. My child would be elbow-deep in paint, gleefully coating the canvas, box, and himself with all of the paint he could get his hands on. Instead, Lucas confirmed something that I was starting to suspect - he hates getting dirty. He tentatively stuck his fingers into the paint, immediately regretted his decision, tried to wipe his hand off on his shirt, realized too late that I had removed his shirt and that he was wiping paint on his chest, then just stared in dismay at his messy hand and torso.

I eventually got him to do a little bit of painting by doing it myself while making ridiculously over-excited noises to show how fun it was. The rest of the "painting" was from Lucas sitting on the canvas while playing with paper towels, walking across (and occasionally falling onto) the canvas while trying to escape the box, and halfheartedly wiggling his legs across the the bottom of the canvas.

However, we ended up with a gift for Dan that he can hang in his office until we can replace it with a piece of art that Lucas makes willingly (instead of one that his mean mommy forced him to make.)

See the big red splotch next to the letter B? That's where I tried to put Lucas's footprint onto the canvas. He screamed like I was trying to chop his foot off.

When it was dry, I peeled off the tape and then sprayed it with a clear acrylic coating to hopefully help preserve it. (I have no idea whether that last step was actually necessary.)

Lucas proudly gave his present to Dan (ok, he actually looked at it like he'd never seen it before), and Dan really likes it, so we'll classify this as a success.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day (and that no one else's gift made their children quite as angry as this gift did.)

This post is about saliva... and poop

Before you have a baby, you will inevitably hear the following phrase in regards to dealing with baby poop: "It's different when it's your own child." The point is that you will be less grossed out (or ideally, not at all grossed out) by your own child's poop. Honestly, I don't think it's the fact that it's your own child's poop that keeps you from gagging uncontrollably when you change a diaper, but rather that if you deal with anything gross 4,397 times a day, you become desensitized.

I have always been horribly grossed out by saliva. Absolutely repulsed. Naturally, I was blessed with the drooliest child the world has ever seen. I'll put a new shirt on him, and within about 45 seconds, it looks like I dunked his chest in a river just for the heck of it. And people will say things like, "Oh my gosh! I've never seen a child drool that much! He is covered with saliva!" And I'll be like, "Huh! I hadn't noticed!" Both he and I spend most of our days covered in his saliva. And not shockingly, I don't mind at all. (Random story: A few months ago, my friend Teri came over to our house with her son Thomas. Thomas is 4 months older than Lucas and significantly less drooly. The two boys were sitting on the floor playing, and Lucas drooled a long string of drool that had some sort of food in it, and it landed in a glob on the rug. And Thomas, who was about 17 months old at the time, looked at the puddle of saliva on the floor and started gagging. I have never seen a toddler so disgusted in my life. It was hilarious.)

Anyway, I thought that my lack of repulsion regarding my child's saliva was because of the whole "it's different when it's your own child" phenomenon I've heard so much about. And then we had Lucas's first birthday party. We sang "Happy Birthday" and then I blew out the candle on Lucas's cupcake. Our friends Cory and Eva's son Paxton reached up for the candle, and since everyone knows that the only purpose of birthday candles is to give kids something to lick the icing off of, I handed it to him. Except that instead of licking it, he took a giant bite out of it. And automatically, I held out my hand under his mouth and said, "Spit it out, Pax." Yes, that's right. I - the woman for whom handling saliva would have seemed like a strange and incredibly cruel form of torture before I had my son - actually told someone else's child to spit in my hand. And I neither gagged nor vomited. That's what personal growth looks like, friends.

So if you have some sort of weird and slightly embarrassing phobia involving a bodily fluid, having a child will probably cure you. But therapy is a lot cheaper.

Little Man's Bowtie and Necktie Themed Birthday Party

Before Lucas was born, I bought two sets of one monthly onesie stickers from Baby and Belly Designs on Etsy (formerly little babycakes and co.) We decided not to find out our baby's sex until he was born, so we bought one set for a boy and one set for a girl. Since he's a boy (obviously) we ended up using these adorable necktie onesie stickers to take pictures of him every month.

When I was planning his first birthday party, I wanted him to have a special shirt to wear. I found an adorable first birthday bowtie onesie from Stitch to my Lu on etsy, and a birthday party theme was born!

It's not easy to photograph a one-year-old at his own birthday party.

I wanted a birthday banner that matched the theme, and rather than search for one, I just made my own.

I printed large outlined letters on card stock paper and then cut them out. (Ok, technically, my mom and mother-in-law cut them out for me.) I cut bowties out of scrapbook paper to make the middle of the "A's" and made a necktie for the letter "I." Then I attached them together using brads to make the banner.

I bought cheap frames and framed the monthly pictures of Lucas and put them out as decorations. For party favors, I made bowties for the little boys and hair bows for the little girls using the directions I found here.

The sign reads "Help make Lucas's birthday party a black tie affair by selecting a bowtie or hair bow for your little one."

Most of the kids at the party were older than Lucas, so I decided to have a game for all of them. We did our own version of "pin the tail on the donkey" and had the kids stick a bowtie on a picture of Lucas while they were blindfolded. (I traced a bowtie on to the picture so that the littler kids would know where it was supposed to go.) I made sure to have prizes for the winners and for everyone who participated so that no one would feel left out.

The game before and after.

My fabulous friend Sarah baked cupcakes (half strawberry, half chocolate and peanut butter! Yum!) in polka dot cupcake liners so they would match the rest of the decorations.

We had a great time, and the decorations and game were cheap and easy! Plus, all of the little guests looked absolutely adorable in their matching bowties and hair bows.

What other themes can you think of for a first birthday party?

Because apparently I don't blog regularly...

Here are some highlights from my oh-so-thrilling life that you might have missed if you are one of my five readers who aren't Facebook friends with me...

So now you're all caught up on my life. Hope the excitement wasn't too much for you. Maybe you should go lie down.