I posted this on Facebook this evening:
Which led to me thinking for the umpteenth time about those women (with grown children) you occasionally run into in the grocery store who look at your child(ren) with a wistful smile and then tell you to "enjoy every moment."
For the record, I know how very, very fortunate I am that I get to be the mommy to my son and the little one we're expecting in September.
I am in a position to be able to choose to stay home with my children, and I know that there are other women out there who want to do the same and aren't able to; I realize what a privilege that is.
But I will tell you the truth: some parenting moments are more "have to" than "get to." Like cleaning up vomit. Or dealing with tantrums. Or waking up ridiculously early. Or changing poopy diapers. Overall, I wouldn't trade this job with anyone, but I'd be thrilled to have a pinch hitter or designated barf cleaner every now and again.
So when people tell you to enjoy every moment with your young children, just keep in mind that they themselves definitely didn't. They're looking back with rose-colored glasses at the parenting-of-young-kids experience as a whole. The cuddles, the wet kisses, the enthusiasm, the not being embarrassed to be seen with you in public. Those things are beautiful and wonderful and you should absolutely try to enjoy them as much as you can. But the moments (or days - or weeks) that you don't enjoy? Don't feel bad about them. That's not you being a bad mom; that's you being a human being. Being a good mom doesn't mean that you have to be filled with ecstasy by every single moment you spend with your child. And the more time you waste feeling guilty that you honestly just hate bath time, the less time you have to bask in the moments when your little boy pats your face and says "Mama best lady."
So if you're a little worn out by parenting today, give yourself a break, a pat on the back, and a piece of chocolate. And if you should happen to stumble across a company that has someone on call to clean up vomit 24 hours a day, could you please pass along the phone number? I'd really appreciate it.
I love the "earning badges" one the best!!! That would be fantastic! I have to go back to work in August and I'm dreading every moment of it =(
ReplyDeleteThere are definitely rough moments as a parent. But I'm turning into that mom that says "enjoy every moment." No, I'm not enjoying all the screaming at 2 am when the baby suddenly gives up sleeping. But more that when he is screaming, it's me he wants and needs and I can do something about it. I felt I rushed so much of my kids childhood away because off all the stressful, loud, bodily fluid filled moments, and so wish that I hadn't.
ReplyDeleteAll I can picture is a girlscout vest with badges of puke, poop, and tantrums... haha!
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with this post! And I think complaining about the not so great moments is needed... Otherwise we hold it in. I love being a mom, but I'm not going to lie to myself or anyone else and say I like cleaning up vomit, lol! By the way, we have a light on our air purifier too, and sometimes my kids disagree about whether it should be off or on at bedtime. That's always fun!
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